I could try to be witty and come up with a subject title...

[mr_booboo]

...alas, I am *not* witty. And I'm to lazy.

After forcing haunted_attics and special_trille to come over and do my homework for me, you would think I'd be all guilty and such, but no. I thank them dearly for helping me out. Although I did threaten them with more work, I am happy to say, that I went in to work yesterday and finished the bastard.

Now all I have to do is open all 5,000 files and do my stats. Yay!

Humiliation of the day: Belly Dancing Extravaganza and the Toilet of Evil.

Maia and I went to Gino's before and the show and ate so much that I was feeling sick. Then while we were waiting in line, Simmos was taunting me with their ice cream. What's a girl to do but get out of line and head off towards the ice cream. This move later turned out to be a bad decision as we didn't end up securing seats and had to spend the night glaring and mumbling curses at some stupid wench who stole my spot and made a complete fuss with her drinks, thus annoying me even further.

Anyway, belly dancing was very entertaining, except this one girl with a fabulous figure (if she was a model) but no meat on did her thing. While the top half of her was very good, I really could tell whether or not she was wiggling her belly (notice the technical term there? Wiggling...). Wil kindly pointed out that you could tell because the shimmery things on her costume was moving. She looked like an elegant vibrator.

All in all, the show was very entertaining and I enjoyed myself muchly. Then we went to this new place (can not recall the name) next to the ZanZi Bar and it was lovely and mellowed for a couple of hours. After they closed, we decided to head off.

Then things went down hill.

This is over sharing, but since special_trille posted about the vibrator thing, I say any topic is fair game.

I have an extraordinarily bad relationship with toilets. I may be one of the only few people who've had their toilets catch on fire. Since then, I've had issues with them.

So, on our walk back, my bladder kicked in. I have a notoriously bad bladder. Now you guys have seen me walk and it's funny, imagine what it's like seeing me walk while trying not to wet myself. After 5 minutes, I got desperate and the only toilet available was the brand new, funky, state of the art, technologically improved public toilet.

It took us 3 minutes to figure out how to get the damn door open. Then it took me another minute to close it. Now, while I appreciate that the toilet was clean and I could now relieve myself, for the life of me, it took me ages to get some toilet paper out. I kept pressing the button, but all I got was one sheet. I pressed the button again. Nothing. This goes on for a while, and still, nothing. One sheet of toilet paper, huh. No, no, that's fine. I've got my ration of *ONE SHEET*. Thank God I didn't need to go number two (I know, over-share). Relentlessly, I continued pressing the button and still, nothing. Luckily, I had serviettes in my bag. With that all taken care off, I looked around for a flush. There was none! Then I see this sign on the wall. It will automatically flush when you wash your hand.

So, I go to the sink. It's a sensory thing, so just put your hand near it and let it all happen. IN THEORY! The soap dispenser misses my hand so I had to go back for seconds. The water ran, the toilet flushed, the dryer went on and off...all at once...and in the background, I got some lovely mood music. I forgot to mention that. Burt Bacharach's "What the World Needs Now" started playing in the background the moment the door closed. So here am I, confronted with non stop Burt Bacharach music, running water, dryer going on and off, I start getting flashbacks of the stupid toilet catching on fire. I run to the door, frantically pushing buttons and trying to get out. It would not open!

Thank God there was a 10 minute limit. The Toilet of Evil eventually let me out.

I only have one thing more to say about this and then we'll pretend it never happened: some things, technology can improve, others, technology should NEVER be able to touch. Give me the old traditional flush-it-yourself, manual tap turning toilets any day.

And I've just noticed how long and stupid this post is.

Sorry people.

Comments

[sarren.livejournal.com]

*giggling madly*

The only way we could pretend it never happened is if you edited out of your lj. Otherwise it's there for all to smirk at.

btw. Your toilet caught on FIRE???

I have *no* idea waht you're talking about...

[mr-booboo.livejournal.com]

...la la la la la...

There was no incident.Nothing. Nada.

On to happier news, do you want tickets for Bowie?

[zebra363.livejournal.com]

Toilet of Evil... funniest thing I've read all day and I've been on the internet for 2 hours!