So I finally suckered some poor unfortunate fool to share my house with me.

My housemate is a guy. This facinating tidbit is where my little tale begins.

Let me set the scene:-
The date is Wednesday, 14 January 2009. It is 8.30 am and I am calling my father from my work phone.

Me: Can I talk to Dad?
Mum: Why?
Me: I'm just letting him know that the housemate is moving in soon and I need the spare control for the garage. I'm not sure if he has it or the boys have it.
Mum: Oh, housemate. When is she moving in?
Me: He's moving in on Thursday.
Mum: He? He? What is this he? A housemate is not a he!
Me: Well, this one is.
Mum: But what if he rapes and murders you in the middle of the night?
Me: Why would he do that?
Mum: Because he's a *boy!*
Me: He's not going to rape and murder me in the middle of the night. He's a teacher.
Mum: Teachers can rape and kill people! Especially if they are boys!
Me: He's not going to rape and murder me.
Mum: But he's a boy!
Me: What about your sons? They're boys. They're not raping and killing women.
Mum: But they don't live with girls!
Me: *sigh* He's not going to rape and kill me in the middle of the night. The boys live behind me and I have neighbours either side of me. And if he does, I have all his details and you'll be able to find him.
Mum: *hrmph*
Me: I don't want to talk about this any more. Let me speak to dad.
Mum: How much rent is he paying then?

Before I continue, I should tell you that my mother believes the price I've set is too high and that no one in their right mind would pay that much. It's not ridiculous. I've checked. It's a reasonable amount.

Me: $x/week plus expenses and a month's rent in bond.
Mum: Oh, well why didn't you say so before? Well, that's ok then.
Me: *indignant* What? What if he rapes and kills me in the middle of the night?!?
Mum: Well, at least he helped out with the mortgage repayments…
Me: I'm hanging up now. Tell dad to call me back.



From: [identity profile]

Me: What about your sons? They're boys? They're not raping and killing women.
Mum: But they don't live with girls!

Ahahaha!!! Your mother is all of my aunties!!!

From: [identity profile]

Oh noes! More than one insane person in your family!

From: [identity profile]

Oh I think I like you're mum :)

Practical and a little nuts all in one !!

From: [identity profile]

You remember her insanity from our trip. How she called me in Vienna in the middle of the night because the internet was broken?

That's the same mother.

No, no, it's ok. Don't call the boys. Call me; I'm only half way around the world for your tech support.

From: [identity profile]

Your Mum is awesome - scary, but awesome none the less.
She still doesn't know about N & E then? Or did she choose to forget.

PS - Your SMS came through at 0:30 this morning. I'd already replied to sass' post.
*blows raspberries at you*

From: [identity profile]

No sacrifice is too great for the mortgage!

From: [identity profile]

Glad to see that mum's priorities are with the mortgage, rather than your life. She just doesn't want to inherit the debt

From: [identity profile]

I told my dad this story and mum says: "I didn't mean it that way! Why do you always take things to heart? Why so melodramatic? It's not like you're not dead, are you?"


From: [identity profile]

Not in relation to my tale of woe:

If Tabs and I set up a games day, would you be interested in joining us and bringing a game over to play?

From: [identity profile]

I can so hear you having this conversation - even having never heard your mum's voice!!

Yay for housemate and caring family though :)


From: [identity profile]

I saw you last night and you didn't mention this! Hope he works out. Your mother is very funny — glad you're getting what she thinks is an exorbitant amount!

From: [identity profile]

I think I told everyone about it before you arrived.

Mum thinks I should only charge $130 including food and expenses. That's all she'd pay.

I say she's insane.

Trille said she'd take the deal if it was only $130 inclusive. He's only around for 6 months. Then I look for another housemate.


mr_booboo: (Default)

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