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So, what I should *really* be doing is finishing my update of SwanCon and such, but you know what? So over it.
Anyway, for those interested in the update before I lost interest:
So, anyway, the story continues...
Saturday:
Woke up stiff and sore with carpet burns and bruises all over my body. If this was the result of some kinky misadventures with Trille and AH in our shared king sized bed, it would have been OK. Alas, sadly I must report, it wasn't anything that exciting; just sore from the abuse of Friday's Quidditch game. Soaked in the bath for half an hour before showering and waking up the sleeping duo.
Met the gang as arranged for breakfast. Fortunately for me, I ran out of petrol the night before and had to get fuel otherwise I'd forget. Oh, damn, I'll have to drive instead of walk to Miss Maude's for brekkie. Poor me. Trille, ever the thoughtful friend sacraficed her morning exercise in order to keep me company. AND proceeded to entertain me with her delightful singing all the way because the radio in the car is completely stuffed. Now that's dedication. Had a huge breakfast but got sick eating pancakes. I honestly thought I could do it, but sugar early in the morning makes me sick. Damn. Oh, and food early in the morning as well. Was great otherwise.
Attended the first panel and decided to skip the next one. Trille and I decide to go wander around and started to walk towards the Terrace Room to reminisce...
Me: I don't see why we can't play Quidditch in there.
Trille: Well, the Art Show. Kinda need the space.
Me: Oh yeah, forgot.
Entering the room, innocently unaware of the horrors that was about to be witnessed...
Me: I love this room. All the lovely memories. :::sigh:::
Trille: Uh...(looks around and stops, paralysed)
Me: (still not noticing) I love Quidditch, we have to play it again, I mean (long pause)... Trille, you OK? (looks around) Aaaarrrggghhh!!! *piercing scream*
Trille: (recovering) Code Red! Code Red! Pull back! Retreat! Retreat!
Frantic sprint to the doors, rescuing traumatised self from the horrors of the room, dragging Trille with me.
Me: Why would the do such a thing to such a beautiful room?
Stranger: What? What happened? What's going on in there?
Me: Oh, good. I'm not infected. Minimal exposure, thank the lord.
Trille: Gamers. They're setting camp.
Emma: (From another room, supersonic hearing suddenly kicking in) OVER MY DEAD BODY!
Essentially,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
phred_has_sonar covered Pancakes, and cricketkcricketk covered the Perth Observatory.
Now, what I *really* wanted to recap is my Birthday and Troy.
Birthday was so, so promising when I woke up...but then went down hill the minute I walked into work. Shit! Let's not go there. Don't want to talk about it as I may kill myself. However, it soon got better once Trille arrived and got me a cupcake to celebrate. She lit up some matches and I got to blow out the matches. This however lead me to discover Trille's secret pyromaniac longings. I blew out the matches, she lit some more up. Went to the pub, she lit up the matches, went to dinner, matches. Hidden arson-esque desires?
At any rate, arrived at the restaurant and admitted to everyone that I forgot to make a booking. Luckily, the manager catered to our needs and kicked some people out. Gots to love the customer service. Dinner was nice, all was good. And then...
Zone 3. Some people may believe that Cricket, Sarren and I are a little competitive. Maybe it's from the Quidditch recaps, or maybe it's because you've seen us when we are "playing." It was however, nothing compared to what was witnessed at Zone 3.
La la la...minding my own business, shooting the enemy, running from the other team member when I hear:
Red Faction Leader: (Loudly yelling) Red Team, fall back, fall back! We're under attack!
Red 1: Aaaarrrggghhh! I've been shot! I've been shot!
Red Faction Leader: Quick! Medic! Get him to medic! Red Team, full alert! Commence Alpha formation, attack on my order! (Secret army hand signals and much pointing at things)
All this has somewhat captured my attention. I stop with my game and have a little look. At which point, I witness this "alpha formation" - essentially, three or four of the boys rolling on the floor and doing somersaults coming out of their hiding spots, circling and protecting the injured guy who was being dragged to "medic" by his supposed superior. They were so ridiculous and clearly an easy target, so I shot at them. They had this look of shock that I would actually shoot at their "injured" man.
At this point, I ran to drag Sue and Helen, who was on a different team to witness the whole thing. Unfortunately, it was all over by then. Damn!
This play acting was so amusing that Trille got into the spirit and screamed out her own orders:
Red Faction Leader: (Loudly) Red Team, advance! Do not fold! Advance! Advance!
Red Member: Aaarrgghh! They're gaining on us, Sir!
Red Faction Member: Do not retreat! Hold your ground! That's an order!
Trille: Blue team, take formation! Stand in line! God damn it soldier, I said stand in formation!
Red Faction Leader: Prepare to attack!
Trille: Blue Team, on my mark! Go! Do the Macarena!
You've got to love highly immaginative 13 year old boys and their war games. At any rate, much fun was had by me.
Now, Troy. Sooo sooo much potential, sooo sooo, not realised! I mean, everything was there for the taking. A group of pretty pretty boys, and beautiful beautiful men, in short short skirts and much half nakedness... what could possibly have gone wrong?
Well, besides the bad script, poor direction, cheesy dialogue, wooden acting and complete deviation from the mythology/Homer's epic poem? Aside from those minor, insignificant details, everything was fantastic. Well, it was enjoyable despite me getting all ranty and irritable.
Brad Pitt, so much posturing and posing, so much overacting.
Orlando Bloom (Trille, the ability to wobble one's lips and go all sulking and puppy eyes, does not good acting make), also, very bad. On the other hand, he DID have the cheesiest lines in the whole movie.
Helen: so miscast. You would have thought that Helen, being the most beautiful woman at the time, would be very beautiful. Nope, just generic pretty. Paris was way more pretty. In fact, why they didn't just pop the Legolas wig on Orlando and casted him as Helen, I will never know.
Eric Bana! Phfwoah! Hot! Given the bad script, he did wonders. I loved his Hector. For me, Hector was the only good and honourable character in the whole movie. Well, him and Odysseus.
Sean Bean. Fabulous! And that's just not bias. The man was good. He can act. He took his shitty dialogue and script and turned it into gems. He was fab.
Peter O'Toole. Consumate actor. Excellent performance, given what he had.
Andromache: Because I don't know who the actress is. Beautiful. Much more preferable to Helen.
Briseis: Rose did ok. She was lush. Lucky woman got to rub up against Brad Pitt through most of the movie.
OK, here begins my rant:
1. GGGGRRRR!!! You just can't go around killing off characters any which way! Menelaus was *not* killed by Hector! He wins back Helen. Ajax was *not* killed by Hector, he committed suicide using Hector's sword. Agamemnon: not killed by Briseis, was killed by his wife. Grrr! Not that it matters as Greek mythology, all over the place. But still, if you're going to adapt from a book!
2. Hated Helen in the movie and hated Paris. I mean, Paris was always a twat in my books, but this the wet, lovesick version in the movie! Eww! And so bull! Helen, I normally felt sorry for, is very difficult to like in the movie. It's like she went with Paris out of her own free will. Hello? Was cursed! Kidnapped! Raped! Noticed Odysseus exiting the wooden horse, smiled and went back to sleep! Lived happily ever after when her husband Menelaus after the sacking of Troy. Grrr! Really hated this incarnation of her. Not that The Iliad treated her any better, but I figured, written by a man. I mean seriously, the men cheat on their wives, it's ok, the women get kidnapped and raped: the whore! Seriously!
3. Oh god, the acting! It was sssssssoooooooo bad! Except for the ones I mentioned earlier.
4. Music lifted from Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. Not the whole thing, but enough unchanged that it was recognisable.
5. Stargate theme music as Achilles was slain! (bangs head repeatedly)
6. Oh the posing and posturing! And the melodrama! (continues to bang head)
7. The inability to pronounce "Agamemnon" by half of the cast. Case in point (albeit in a slightly exaggerated manner):
King Priam: We can not return Helen. This isn't really about her. It's about Agamemnon and his greed.
Hector: I will not allow Agamemmon to take Troy!
Paris: There will be no war. I will go to Agmemnom and offer a duel between myself and Menelaus. Winner gets to keep Helen.
Agamemnon: There will be a war regardless! Greece was nothing until I, Agamemnon, brought unity to the land.
Ajax: You don't need Achilles, he's a whiney twerp, you've already got me, Agmenonom.
Menelaus: But Amagemnon, I want my Helen back.
Odysseus: Agamemnon, you must go ask Achilles for his help. We will not win without him.
King 1: A gift for you my Agammemom, to show my allegiance.
King 2. And to you, Amagamnon, I give you this sword.
And it goes on. I think only 3 actors actually managed to say his name without tripping over themselves. Oh well.
End rant.
Last, but not least, Eurovision. I can't believe how popular the Ukraine song was. But, my personal favourite, Norway, with no votes. Norway, with the campy guy and his three fly girls. Norway with the oh so obvious non-synchronised lip-synching. Hillarious! What a riot. I'm amazed they weren't disqualified.
Signing off for the next month,
Jasmin
Anyway, for those interested in the update before I lost interest:
So, anyway, the story continues...
Saturday:
Woke up stiff and sore with carpet burns and bruises all over my body. If this was the result of some kinky misadventures with Trille and AH in our shared king sized bed, it would have been OK. Alas, sadly I must report, it wasn't anything that exciting; just sore from the abuse of Friday's Quidditch game. Soaked in the bath for half an hour before showering and waking up the sleeping duo.
Met the gang as arranged for breakfast. Fortunately for me, I ran out of petrol the night before and had to get fuel otherwise I'd forget. Oh, damn, I'll have to drive instead of walk to Miss Maude's for brekkie. Poor me. Trille, ever the thoughtful friend sacraficed her morning exercise in order to keep me company. AND proceeded to entertain me with her delightful singing all the way because the radio in the car is completely stuffed. Now that's dedication. Had a huge breakfast but got sick eating pancakes. I honestly thought I could do it, but sugar early in the morning makes me sick. Damn. Oh, and food early in the morning as well. Was great otherwise.
Attended the first panel and decided to skip the next one. Trille and I decide to go wander around and started to walk towards the Terrace Room to reminisce...
Me: I don't see why we can't play Quidditch in there.
Trille: Well, the Art Show. Kinda need the space.
Me: Oh yeah, forgot.
Entering the room, innocently unaware of the horrors that was about to be witnessed...
Me: I love this room. All the lovely memories. :::sigh:::
Trille: Uh...(looks around and stops, paralysed)
Me: (still not noticing) I love Quidditch, we have to play it again, I mean (long pause)... Trille, you OK? (looks around) Aaaarrrggghhh!!! *piercing scream*
Trille: (recovering) Code Red! Code Red! Pull back! Retreat! Retreat!
Frantic sprint to the doors, rescuing traumatised self from the horrors of the room, dragging Trille with me.
Me: Why would the do such a thing to such a beautiful room?
Stranger: What? What happened? What's going on in there?
Me: Oh, good. I'm not infected. Minimal exposure, thank the lord.
Trille: Gamers. They're setting camp.
Emma: (From another room, supersonic hearing suddenly kicking in) OVER MY DEAD BODY!
Essentially,
phred_has_sonar covered Pancakes, and cricketkcricketk covered the Perth Observatory.Now, what I *really* wanted to recap is my Birthday and Troy.
Birthday was so, so promising when I woke up...but then went down hill the minute I walked into work. Shit! Let's not go there. Don't want to talk about it as I may kill myself. However, it soon got better once Trille arrived and got me a cupcake to celebrate. She lit up some matches and I got to blow out the matches. This however lead me to discover Trille's secret pyromaniac longings. I blew out the matches, she lit some more up. Went to the pub, she lit up the matches, went to dinner, matches. Hidden arson-esque desires?
At any rate, arrived at the restaurant and admitted to everyone that I forgot to make a booking. Luckily, the manager catered to our needs and kicked some people out. Gots to love the customer service. Dinner was nice, all was good. And then...
Zone 3. Some people may believe that Cricket, Sarren and I are a little competitive. Maybe it's from the Quidditch recaps, or maybe it's because you've seen us when we are "playing." It was however, nothing compared to what was witnessed at Zone 3.
La la la...minding my own business, shooting the enemy, running from the other team member when I hear:
Red Faction Leader: (Loudly yelling) Red Team, fall back, fall back! We're under attack!
Red 1: Aaaarrrggghhh! I've been shot! I've been shot!
Red Faction Leader: Quick! Medic! Get him to medic! Red Team, full alert! Commence Alpha formation, attack on my order! (Secret army hand signals and much pointing at things)
All this has somewhat captured my attention. I stop with my game and have a little look. At which point, I witness this "alpha formation" - essentially, three or four of the boys rolling on the floor and doing somersaults coming out of their hiding spots, circling and protecting the injured guy who was being dragged to "medic" by his supposed superior. They were so ridiculous and clearly an easy target, so I shot at them. They had this look of shock that I would actually shoot at their "injured" man.
At this point, I ran to drag Sue and Helen, who was on a different team to witness the whole thing. Unfortunately, it was all over by then. Damn!
This play acting was so amusing that Trille got into the spirit and screamed out her own orders:
Red Faction Leader: (Loudly) Red Team, advance! Do not fold! Advance! Advance!
Red Member: Aaarrgghh! They're gaining on us, Sir!
Red Faction Member: Do not retreat! Hold your ground! That's an order!
Trille: Blue team, take formation! Stand in line! God damn it soldier, I said stand in formation!
Red Faction Leader: Prepare to attack!
Trille: Blue Team, on my mark! Go! Do the Macarena!
You've got to love highly immaginative 13 year old boys and their war games. At any rate, much fun was had by me.
Now, Troy. Sooo sooo much potential, sooo sooo, not realised! I mean, everything was there for the taking. A group of pretty pretty boys, and beautiful beautiful men, in short short skirts and much half nakedness... what could possibly have gone wrong?
Well, besides the bad script, poor direction, cheesy dialogue, wooden acting and complete deviation from the mythology/Homer's epic poem? Aside from those minor, insignificant details, everything was fantastic. Well, it was enjoyable despite me getting all ranty and irritable.
Brad Pitt, so much posturing and posing, so much overacting.
Orlando Bloom (Trille, the ability to wobble one's lips and go all sulking and puppy eyes, does not good acting make), also, very bad. On the other hand, he DID have the cheesiest lines in the whole movie.
Helen: so miscast. You would have thought that Helen, being the most beautiful woman at the time, would be very beautiful. Nope, just generic pretty. Paris was way more pretty. In fact, why they didn't just pop the Legolas wig on Orlando and casted him as Helen, I will never know.
Eric Bana! Phfwoah! Hot! Given the bad script, he did wonders. I loved his Hector. For me, Hector was the only good and honourable character in the whole movie. Well, him and Odysseus.
Sean Bean. Fabulous! And that's just not bias. The man was good. He can act. He took his shitty dialogue and script and turned it into gems. He was fab.
Peter O'Toole. Consumate actor. Excellent performance, given what he had.
Andromache: Because I don't know who the actress is. Beautiful. Much more preferable to Helen.
Briseis: Rose did ok. She was lush. Lucky woman got to rub up against Brad Pitt through most of the movie.
OK, here begins my rant:
1. GGGGRRRR!!! You just can't go around killing off characters any which way! Menelaus was *not* killed by Hector! He wins back Helen. Ajax was *not* killed by Hector, he committed suicide using Hector's sword. Agamemnon: not killed by Briseis, was killed by his wife. Grrr! Not that it matters as Greek mythology, all over the place. But still, if you're going to adapt from a book!
2. Hated Helen in the movie and hated Paris. I mean, Paris was always a twat in my books, but this the wet, lovesick version in the movie! Eww! And so bull! Helen, I normally felt sorry for, is very difficult to like in the movie. It's like she went with Paris out of her own free will. Hello? Was cursed! Kidnapped! Raped! Noticed Odysseus exiting the wooden horse, smiled and went back to sleep! Lived happily ever after when her husband Menelaus after the sacking of Troy. Grrr! Really hated this incarnation of her. Not that The Iliad treated her any better, but I figured, written by a man. I mean seriously, the men cheat on their wives, it's ok, the women get kidnapped and raped: the whore! Seriously!
3. Oh god, the acting! It was sssssssoooooooo bad! Except for the ones I mentioned earlier.
4. Music lifted from Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. Not the whole thing, but enough unchanged that it was recognisable.
5. Stargate theme music as Achilles was slain! (bangs head repeatedly)
6. Oh the posing and posturing! And the melodrama! (continues to bang head)
7. The inability to pronounce "Agamemnon" by half of the cast. Case in point (albeit in a slightly exaggerated manner):
King Priam: We can not return Helen. This isn't really about her. It's about Agamemnon and his greed.
Hector: I will not allow Agamemmon to take Troy!
Paris: There will be no war. I will go to Agmemnom and offer a duel between myself and Menelaus. Winner gets to keep Helen.
Agamemnon: There will be a war regardless! Greece was nothing until I, Agamemnon, brought unity to the land.
Ajax: You don't need Achilles, he's a whiney twerp, you've already got me, Agmenonom.
Menelaus: But Amagemnon, I want my Helen back.
Odysseus: Agamemnon, you must go ask Achilles for his help. We will not win without him.
King 1: A gift for you my Agammemom, to show my allegiance.
King 2. And to you, Amagamnon, I give you this sword.
And it goes on. I think only 3 actors actually managed to say his name without tripping over themselves. Oh well.
End rant.
Last, but not least, Eurovision. I can't believe how popular the Ukraine song was. But, my personal favourite, Norway, with no votes. Norway, with the campy guy and his three fly girls. Norway with the oh so obvious non-synchronised lip-synching. Hillarious! What a riot. I'm amazed they weren't disqualified.
Signing off for the next month,
Jasmin
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From:
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wipes tears from eyes
Sound like a plan?
And I might be able to forget the hour and a half long discussion you and Trille had in front of me, in my house where I couldn't escape, about the merits of Orlando's face crumpling brand of acting.