So I finally suckered some poor unfortunate fool to share my house with me.

My housemate is a guy. This facinating tidbit is where my little tale begins.

Let me set the scene:-
The date is Wednesday, 14 January 2009. It is 8.30 am and I am calling my father from my work phone.

Me: Can I talk to Dad?
Mum: Why?
Me: I'm just letting him know that the housemate is moving in soon and I need the spare control for the garage. I'm not sure if he has it or the boys have it.
Mum: Oh, housemate. When is she moving in?
Me: He's moving in on Thursday.
Mum: He? He? What is this he? A housemate is not a he!
Me: Well, this one is.
Mum: But what if he rapes and murders you in the middle of the night?
Me: Why would he do that?
Mum: Because he's a *boy!*
Me: He's not going to rape and murder me in the middle of the night. He's a teacher.
Mum: Teachers can rape and kill people! Especially if they are boys!
Me: He's not going to rape and murder me.
Mum: But he's a boy!
Me: What about your sons? They're boys. They're not raping and killing women.
Mum: But they don't live with girls!
Me: *sigh* He's not going to rape and kill me in the middle of the night. The boys live behind me and I have neighbours either side of me. And if he does, I have all his details and you'll be able to find him.
Mum: *hrmph*
Me: I don't want to talk about this any more. Let me speak to dad.
Mum: How much rent is he paying then?

Before I continue, I should tell you that my mother believes the price I've set is too high and that no one in their right mind would pay that much. It's not ridiculous. I've checked. It's a reasonable amount.

Me: $x/week plus expenses and a month's rent in bond.
Mum: Oh, well why didn't you say so before? Well, that's ok then.
Me: *indignant* What? What if he rapes and kills me in the middle of the night?!?
Mum: Well, at least he helped out with the mortgage repayments…
Me: I'm hanging up now. Tell dad to call me back.


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